Monday, June 18, 2012

Is Chivalry Really Dead?

I'm back! I was in Pennsylvania where my grandparents own a cabin, visited DC for the day, and visited my great aunt in New Jersey at her beach house (which I have always been in LOVE with!)

Pictures soon to come, but first I have a bone to pick with some men....

I hate to say it, but for most men chivalry is DEAD. Not even a flutter of a heart beat. It's dead and buried deep in the ground. Now, I've heard the expression many times, but I usually at least have the doors opened for me or have a seat given up, and the rule ladies first has usually been enforced.

This is NOT the case on the metro in DC, which is basically a subway.

I was honestly appalled. I had the door close on me and then ended up standing with my mom and little sister holding a pole, as business men sat comfortably in their seats. I get it, they've had long days, but when my 50 year old mother who has MS is standing up, someone could give it up for her. No excuses.

Then I became extremely upset when I saw a mom and her three year old daughter not get a seat. Can a three year old reach the pole? Nope. She was clutching to her mom as a 30 year old man just watched sitting right next to her! No sir. I saw this repeatedly when little children and the elderly entered the metro. Now I'm sure not all men are like this in DC, and maybe I just hit an off day to not run into one of these such gentlemen, but to be honest they're probably one in a hundred.

Then when going back to the cabin, my cousins and uncles where the first to rush to go through the food line, even before their wives and girlfriends, my grandma, me, my mom, and little sister. What ever happened to ladies first? I had to bite my tongue before giving them a little southern sass (my little sister and I are the only ones from the south). I would say that the South is more polite, but that would be a lie. I've met rude and polite people above and below the Mason Dixon line, so when did chivalry cease to exist?!

Maybe women are a little to blame.
Maybe if some of us acted more like ladies we'd all be treated as such.
Maybe if women didn't make such a fuss over having the doors opened for them as being demeaning, but instead taken as a sign of respect.
But maybe, and most importantly, for a little boy to see how his dad treats his mom and for both of them to teach him how to be a little gentleman.

Don't worry, when driving through Virginia I had a five year old little boy hold the door open for me.
So maybe chivalry might have a chance after all.

How do you feel about chivalry? And who is responsible for killing it if it is dead?



  1. I agree to some extent, I've been lucky enough to have some pretty wonderful experiences regarding just how chivalrous men will be.

    Some people may disagree that females are a bit to blame but I think you make a good and very valid point. In a time where women demand to be on the same playing field with same benefits and salaries (as we deserve), sometimes we defer against any special treatment.

    1. I agree! I've had some wonderful experiences as well, but that experience on the metro was just plain awful in general haha. And being in PR I learned that more women enter the field, but are paid less than men with the same career. Anyone who says its equal for everyone is kidding themselves, but that's a whole other can of worms.

  2. I have to say that I agree with you! Having moved from SC to TX recently, people out here are of another whole breed. There is no such thing as southern hospitality here and it just kills me! People (not all, but a lot) are rude and definitely not chivalrous. Sure, not all people in the South are chivalrous, but I'd say the majority are (at least where I'm from!)

  3. I totally agree! I don't usually have a problem with people holding the door but I definitely have a problem with guys not giving up their seats. It is actually really a surprise when it does happen. I just got back from Moscow and no one there gives up their seat either, it seems to be pretty universal!

  4. That is a pet peeve of mine! Chivalry aside, I think it is just plain rude to treat someone with a child like that. Even if I were sitting there, I would get up. I think a lot of people lack common manners these days.

  5. i live in DC have to agree that chivalry is dead here! what is wrong with these men?? they could totally care less about holding the door for a woman! i went to school at Baylor in texas and miss all the sweet soutehrn men down there!

  6. Where I live, there are some chivalrous guys and also some plain jerks. I live in the south, and I don't have a problem with "being southern", but some guys here are just...rednecks. I know that's not the case for ever guy here, but it's like that at my school. The rednecks are the ones who come to school drunk and talk to girls like they own them. Every now and then I will come across a really sweet guy who is chivalrous, but of course he gets picked on by the other guys. As for doing things like holding the's not like guys will run up in front of you to open the door for you; they just hold it open behind them. I do that for everyone though, but I guess it's better than nothing. Most guys here know that you have to repect girls, but I've seen some who talk to girls in a very rude manner. I'd say it's half and half, but I still haven't seen a guy treat a girl completely right.

  7. 'I hate to say it, but for most men chivalry is DEAD. Not even a flutter of a heart beat. It's dead and buried deep in the ground.'

    Not for me. Interesting second poster.;)

    Russ, BC, Canada

    Good week to you.


Thank you for all your sweet comments! It really brightens my day :)